What Happened After Breaking Dawn
by michaelalovesspike
Summary: Stephanie Meyer's new installment of the Twilight Saga. R


**What happened after breaking dawn ?**

**Bella **: walked into the cullens seemed a little different thne usual.

**Bella**: EDWUUUURDDD EDWURRRD EDWUUUUUUURDDDDDDIOOOOO

**Edward**: What love???

**Bella**: whats different about your house ?

**Edward**: Well ummmm....

**Bella**: ?

**Edward**: i have one more secert to tell you

**Bella**: what ?

**Edward**: YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D

**Bella**: ? Edward: camera there,camera there and there camera and over there * points to bellas underwear*

**Bella**: you think this is a joke that you just changed you house ! ?

**Edward**: the whole four books where a joke

**Bella**: so you mean mike didn't ever like me :(

**Edward**: no he actually likes you but that's not what i am talking about

**Bella**:*stares at Edward for 20 minutes

**Edward**: hello ?

**Bella**: what ?

**Edward**: gosh Bella you really are dumb

**Bella**:* makes a face no one ever seen before*.

**Edward**: the whole my family being vampires was a joke Bella come on vampire what the hell

**Bella**: but you sparkle in the sun

**Edward**: yeah i have a bad sweating problem

**bella**: but what about the vampire fights

**Edward:** effects Bella god that's called the t.v

**Bella**: but how come i believed you

**Edward**: oh yeah we knocked you out then hypnotized you Sorry

**Bella**: WTF Edward: .... Bella:.....

**Edward**: well yea i have to go see my jasper-pooh

**Bella**:what

**Edward:** * runs over to jasper*

**Jasper**: Get away from me freak

**Edward**: but i love you

**jasper**:* runs away from edward yelling rape *

**Edward**: * runs after jasper yelling its not rape if you want it jasper*

**Bella**:*runs over to Alice*

**Bella**: Alice whats happening

**Alice**: * talks in a man voice * my name isn't Alice its Ron

**Bella**: * stares at Alice i mean Ron*

**Ron**: yeah you just got punk'd

**Bella**: wtf this must be a dream

**Ron**: no its not

**Bella**: yes it is

**Ron**: no its not

**Bella**: yes it is

**Ron**: no its not

**Bella**: ok fine its not

**Ron**: i gotta pee

**Bella**: ?

**Bella**: *hears jasper yelling rape*

**Bella**: *walks over to Edward*

**Bella**: Edward it can't end like this what will the fans think

**Edward**: sorry Bella but it already did

**Bella**: no its no going to end like this i am the sex Edward and this saga is not going to end this way

**Edward**: ... O.o

**Bella**: wtf Stephine Meyer why you have to do me like that

**Stepheine**: this is my books i will do with them as i please

**Bella**:well fine then but i bet the werewolfs are still real i will go live with them

**Stepheine**: actually Bella Paul's actually a rock,Sam's some fat gay chick, Jared is a jar of pickles and Embry is a ember

**Bella**: then what about Jacob?

**Stephine **: oh yeah hes just a actor named Taylor Lautner

**Bella**: ..

**Stepheine**: *takes the hipozies off Bella *

**Bella**: *turns around to see some 40 year old fat guy with no hair *

**Bella**: omg who's that

**Edward**: its me bella

**Bella**: EWWWW

**Bella**: then who's that hot guy over there

**Stepheine**: that's Laurent Bella: WTF Bella: that guys white Laurent's black Stephine: don'tbe racest Bella

**Bella**: O_o * makes one of thos faces *

**Charizard** : *pops out and lights Bella on fire*

**Bella**: * jumps in some random pond that magically appears*

**Bella**: now this is really fucked up

**Ashley Greene**: *comes out and walks over to Stephine*

**Ashley**: you fired me and hired this guy Ron !

**Stepheine**: yes yes i did he is way more talented then you !

**Ashley**: * looks at Stephine with a sad face*

**Stepheine**: now disappear hoebag

**hoebag**: disappeared and never seen again

**mean while**

**jasper**: *on the top of a palm tree hiding from Edward*

**Edward**:*trying to climb the tree but he is to fat to *

**Jasper**: leave me alone Edward i don't wanna be raped

**Edward**: i can read your mind i know you do

**jasper**: you can't read mind's fatty

**Edward**: yes i can

**jasper**:no you cant

**Edward**: yes i can

**jasper**: no you cant

**Bella**: * interrupts *

**Bella**: hey can we get back to me now Stephine

**Stepheine**: wait your turn Little bitch this isnt all about you

**Bella**: yes it is

**Stepheine**: no its not

**Bella**:yes it is

**Stepheine**: no its no

**Bella**: YES IT IS

**Stepheine**:why am fighting With you anyway i banish you

**Bella**: *disappears as hoebag did *

**Stepheine**:that's what you get little bitch i will get you when its your turn!

**Stepheine**:anyways back to jasper and Edward

**Edward**: haft way up the tree

**carlisle**: * calls to Edward and jasper to get dinner *

**Carlisle**:Edward you fat lard come get some dinner

**Edward**:coming john cena

**Stepheine**: oh and by the way carlisle is actually john cena

**Edward**: *leaves to get dinner*

**jasper**: * comes down the tree cause he thinks its safe*

**Edward**: *pops out of a push and jumps jasper*

**Edward**:your coming with me sexy thing

**Stepheine**: now Bella can come back

**Bella**: magically appears

**Bella**: wtf was that Stephine that place is scary don't send me back there

**Stepheine**: then be a good little bitch

**Stepheine**: * some random talking teddy bear appears *

**Bella**: AWEEEE TEDDY BEAR

**Rosalie**: *walks up to Bella and takes the teddy then slaps her *

**Rosalie**: that's mine * walks away *

**Stepheine**: by the way that teddy was Emmett

**Bella**: Stephine are you on drugs again

**Stepheine**: no no why would you say that ? * said in a suspicious voice*

**Bella**: cause this books messed up your on drugs aren't you

**Stephenie**: no no no

**Bella**: rememberwhat happened to you last time you went one drugs that book didn't turn out good you know the one called monsters from your ass come to eat all your lava ?

**Stephenie**: i must be on drugs my charaters are talking to me AHHHHHH

**Bella**: ......

**Bella**: come one Stephenie take me home now !

**Stephenie**: i am not done yet Therese something missing

**Bella**: gosh

**Stephine**: i know what missing

**Bella**: ok the faster you make it the faster this stupid book will be over

**Stephenie**: ok you can go home now

**Bella**:* it now magically at her house *

**Bella**: dad you home i had the worst day ever you didn't have anything to do with it did you ?

**Charlie**: AHH yeah Bella i have something to tell you

**charlie**: * walks in the room as a unicorn*

**Bella**:WTF

**THE END** well not really

**Stephine**: after this book all the character went on with there life's jasper and Edward got married and are living a happy life.

Rosalie and the teddy bear and also happily married.

hoebag Greene and Ron are also married.

and Bella now takes care of her dad the unicorn cause she has nothing else to live for

and me i give up on writing books for a while in till i get back from rehab !


End file.
